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by Amy Sander Montanez

It was Sunday morning and my weekend visit to my father’s house would be ending soon.  We would have breakfast together which means Dad reading the Sunday paper and making occasional comments, and my husband and I reading whatever books we are reading and responding to his occasional comments.  We are alternately quiet, slurping cereal and coffee, or conversing, sharing opinions and ideas.  This particular Sunday after talking about all of his friends’ sicknesses and about a recent scare of his own, our conversation turned into this question.

“So Dad, as you are approaching 90 years old, what makes life worth living for you?”

“I try to learn something new every day,” he said quickly.  “That makes me feel like the day has been worth it.”

My dad does not have internet access, text or tweet, and usually does not spend much time on the phone.  Whatever he’s learning everyday is from reading, talking to people, or watching television.

“Hmmmm….” I responded.  I often respond to my dad like that.  I need time to think.  To digest what he has just said.

“I agree with you that it is wonderful to learn something new everyday.  Right now for me, I don’t think that is what makes life worth living.  Sometimes I am tired of learning new things, getting new information.  I think right now in my life it’s something about my yearning for connection with God.  With myself.  With others.  I am truly yearning for connection.”

Immediately after his next slurp of Wheaties and blueberries, some of which missed his mouth, my father responded.  “Honey, maybe that’s the difference between knowledge and wisdom.”  He continued to read the paper.

“Hmmmm….,” I said again.  “If we’re going to church I need to get dressed,” and I headed to my bedroom musing about Dad’s comment.  We didn’t refer to it anymore. Just got dressed and headed for the Lutheran church my dad attends.  The opening Hymn was #520 in the Evangelical Lutheran Hymnal, Dearest Jesus, At Your Word. (Text by Tobias Clausrutzer) The second verse goes like this:

All our knowledge, sense and sight

Lie in deepest darkness shrouded

Till your Spirit breaks the night

Filling us with light unclouded.

All good thoughts and all good living

Come but by your gracious giving.

I poked my husband.  “That’s what Dad and I were talking about this morning,” I whispered.  I love synchronicities.

I’ve continued to think about the difference between knowledge and wisdom.  While the word wisdom isn’t used in this hymn’s lyrics, it feels implied to me, and specifically as a charism, a grace and gift that we are given by the Spirit, by the One who illumines all otherness.  Unless we hold our knowledge up to the Holy Other, how will we know how to use it?  How will we know what it means?

There is a branch of psychology that is dedicated to drawing upon people’s strengths and virtues.  This branch is called Positive Psychology.  One of its early proponents, Martin Seligman, has co-authored a book with Christopher Peterson entitled Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification. (Oxford University Press, 2004.)  In this book the authors identify six broad virtues that are found across history and culture.  Wisdom is one of these virtues.  Seligman and Peterson define wisdom like this: wisdom is “knowledge hard fought for and then used for good. Wisdom is a form of noble intelligence–in the presence of which no one is resentful and everyone appreciative.”

Wisdom might require knowledge and can use strengths to acquire knowledge such as curiosity, love of learning, and creativity, but it is not knowledge for the sake of knowledge.  It is knowledge used for the good of self and others.

Where do you find wisdom?

Amy Sander Montanez, D.Min, has been a licensed professional counselor, licensed marriage & family therapist and spiritual director for over twenty years.   She has a private practice of psychotherapy in Columbia, South Carolina where she specializes in working with clergy and seminarians.  She blogs weekly at Amy Sander Montanez. Stay tuned for Part 2 of this article later this month.